2008.05.12, 12:18 PM
Hi, I found these on a guys website and thought you guys would like 'em. :D
"Quote"
What She Says-----What She Really Means
I need----I want
We need-------I want
It's your decision--------The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want -------You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk-------------I need to complain
Sure...go ahead-------------I don't want you to
I'm not upset-------------Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly-------------You need a shave and you sweat a lot
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!-------------I have a severe case of PMS
Be romantic, turn out the lights-------------I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient-------------I want a new house
I want new curtains-------------I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
I need new shoes-------------the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise-------------I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me?-------------I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me?-------------I maxed out your gold card.
I'll be ready in a minute-------------Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate-------------Just agree with me
Are you listening to me?-------------Too late, you're dead
Yes-------------No
No-------------No
Maybe-------------No
I'm sorry-------------You'll be sorry
I was wrong-------------Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe?-------------It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
I'm not yelling!-------------Of course I'm yelling, this is important!
_______________________________________________________________
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Your two feet may get you there, but boy will they hurt.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
7. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
8. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
9. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
10. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
11. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
12. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
13. She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
14. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
15. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
16. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
17. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
18. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
19. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
20. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.
21. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd fall off.
22. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
23. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
24. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
25. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
26. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
27. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
28. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
29. Flashlight: A container for holding dead batteries.
30. Shin: A device for finding furniture.
31. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
32. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
33. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
34. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
35. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
36. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
37. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
38. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
:D
"Quote"
What She Says-----What She Really Means
I need----I want
We need-------I want
It's your decision--------The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want -------You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk-------------I need to complain
Sure...go ahead-------------I don't want you to
I'm not upset-------------Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly-------------You need a shave and you sweat a lot
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!-------------I have a severe case of PMS
Be romantic, turn out the lights-------------I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient-------------I want a new house
I want new curtains-------------I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
I need new shoes-------------the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise-------------I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me?-------------I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me?-------------I maxed out your gold card.
I'll be ready in a minute-------------Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate-------------Just agree with me
Are you listening to me?-------------Too late, you're dead
Yes-------------No
No-------------No
Maybe-------------No
I'm sorry-------------You'll be sorry
I was wrong-------------Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe?-------------It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
I'm not yelling!-------------Of course I'm yelling, this is important!
_______________________________________________________________
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Your two feet may get you there, but boy will they hurt.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
7. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
8. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
9. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
10. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
11. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
12. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
13. She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
14. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
15. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
16. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
17. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
18. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
19. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
20. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.
21. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd fall off.
22. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
23. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
24. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
25. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
26. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
27. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
28. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
29. Flashlight: A container for holding dead batteries.
30. Shin: A device for finding furniture.
31. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
32. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
33. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
34. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
35. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
36. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
37. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
38. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
:D